Twilight Twisted
by xrandumnessx
Summary: Twilight gets all twisted..a little too much..
1. Chapter 1

**Twilight Twisted**

**--Starts at a library—**

Jacob: Damn girl! Look at you Bella all fly and shiiit!

Bella: Oh Jacob you flirt!

Edward: Ayy yo get cho naaaaassssty pick up lines off mah girl!

Jacob: Chill dawg! *lol even if Jacob's a werewolf*

Edward: I can't chill when chu all ova her, biter! Get cho own lova yo man whore!

Jacob: You da one who bites!

**--Jacob backs away—**

Laurent: Ay yo whut's all diss fussin about?

James: MMMmMMmmm I smell someone sweet..

Laurent: Breathe in and out James your still on probation!

Edward: Dis boi ova here thinks he can start hittin all ova mah lady!

Jacob: Bella be so fly ya can't stand it!

Edward: Your kinda fly too Jacob..

Jacob: (blushes) You too..

Laurent: I agree..

James: MMMmmmmMMM… but I ain't doin that fo Bella ya know whut I mean ;)

Edward: James I love how you show your abs…

James: I love your yellow eyes..I get lost in them..

Edward: They're gold..but that's ok...

Laurent: Ay Jake I love yo smile..it's pretty legit..

**--Bella is lost—**

Jacob: I love your hair..yo dreadlocks gimme da tingles..

Bella: Uh, Edward?

Edward: What BITCH!?

Bella: What are you guys doin?

Jacob: Shuttap let us have our moment hoe!

**--Bella *face palms*--**

Jacob: Ya guys wanna go to sum coffee shop ya know what I mean aye ;)

Edward: I sure do…

Jacob, Edward, Laurent, James: Ehehehehehehehhe….

Bella: You guys I'm so done..you mystical creatures got me twisted!

--Bella storms out angry & never comes back again—

**THE END**

Until the next chapter…


	2. Chapter 2

**Twilight Twisted**

**--At the coffee shop—**

Edward: *sigh*

Jacob: *touches Edward's shoulder* Whut's wrong yo?

Edward: It's Bella..I feel kinda bad..

Laurent: You don't need dat bitch! You got us, isn't dat all yo need?!

Edward: Yeah..but I need my daily dose of personal heroine ya kno?

James: *breathes in* Yeah..I know..

Laurent: Oh yeah James, how you gonna break it to Victoria?

Jacob: Ya mean that chick wit the dope hair?

Laurent: Ya her.

James: Hmmm..I don't know..

Edward: *he interrupts* Oh shit! Hot waitress at 5:00..

Laurent: Daaaammmnnnn nice catch heh, I'm gonna get lucky tonight..

Jacob: Wha's dat supposed to mean Baby L..? *sniff*

James: Oh puh-lease Jake! Having a weird attraction to each other was so two minutes ago..

Edward: True dat..

Laurent: Ya man lets..I'm starting ta get a weird feeling about us now..

Jacob: No one understands me!!!

--Jake runs out of the coffee shop in anger & sadness—

Edward: Should we go out for him?

Laurent: Nah man he'll bounce back in 10 minutes ya know how werewolves are!

Edward: Aye man ya got a point.

James: Well now that we're done wit dis, I'm gonna go..I miss my Victoria already..

Edward: And I'm gonna go find my girl and apologize before she does one of dem "imleavingtownbecausetheloveofmyliferuinedme" thang again..

Laurent: And I'm gonna stay here and keep my eye on dat waitress over der.. ;)

**--In front of Bella's house—**

Bella: *whimpers* WHY? WHY ME? WHAT MADE HIM CHOOSE THEM OVER ME?

Jacob: Hi Bella..

Bella: EW, GET AWAY YOU CREEP! *she runs into her house*

Jacob: DAMN IT! I can never score with anyone.. *whimpers*

**TO BE CONTINUED**

In the next chapter..


	3. Chapter 3

**--Inside Bella's room--**

Bella: Maaaaaaaaaannn why does this happen to me all tha time????!! I can never have any time with my sparkly, hot, smeeexxyy boyfriend?

Edward:*_magically _appears by Bella.*

Edward: yo babe ! yu really tank im _smmmmeeeexxxyyy_? Eh? Eh?

Bella: *blushes and looks away*

Bella: of course HOT STUFFF!

Edward: WHOA! Giiirrl, did u just say what I think you said?

Bella: Yes, Yes I did, as a matter of fact.

Edward: So ya guna forgive me now babe?  
Bella: Well I must. If I wanna have a lil _some some;)_

Edward:oooooo00000 BELLA BABYYYY!......BUT I caanot.

Bella: WHYYYYY NOTTTTTTTT?!  
Edward: Ya know im STRRRRONNGG and I CAN kill you… we dant want dat now do we? Eh? Eh?

Bella: *sulks* fiiiiiiinnnnnnneeeeeee, but boy ur missing out !

**--Jacob walking down an empty street—**

Jacob: Dangg Flabiitt. Why is it that I am ALWAYS alone with no one? I am fine and seciii and hot! OH NO! have people gone blind?!

*mysterious girl appears outta no where*

Mystery girl: Hey there Jacob.

Jacob: uhmmmm… whoooo are you?

Mystery girl: Who do you want me to be?

Jacob: ahhhhh soo its guna be like tht?  
Mystery girl: if you want it to be.*winks seductively*

Jacob: hmmmmm I think im liking thisss…

Mystery girl: I think you are.

Jacob: WAIT! HOW THE HECK DID YOU KNOW MY NAME?

Mystery girl: well who doesn't?! there's no one else as hot and fiiiiinnnnneee and sexy as THE JACOB BLACK.

Jacob: ohhh hmmmm true dat true dat !  
Mystery girl: soooo where are we guna take this?*raises eyebrow suggestively*

Jacob: hmmm how bout rite here rite NOW?!  
Mystery girl: …….OKAY!  
Jacob: SIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKEEEEEE !  
Mystery girl: *blinks fast and has a confused face on*

Whhhha – whaaatt?

Jacob: im not guna get laid HERE in the middle of no where with someone I dnt even know the name of !

Mystery girl:uhhmm okaaay?

Jacob: Soooo whats ur name?xD

Mystery girl: it's…. it's….

**TO BE CONTINUED**

In the next chapter…


End file.
